I was recently feeling quite down, not seeing myself as a successful artist.  None of you have ever felt that way, right?  Right.  In my mind I had the cartoon image of an angel on one shoulder and a little devil with a pitchfork on the other, the two of them going at it.  For a while, the little devil was way ahead with arguments like "...after all, you've been at this for 23 years!...you aren't very prolific, are you?...are you just going to teach all your life?  You know what they say: those who can't, teach...so many others are better than you...you could've entered more shows, won more awards...you haven't had any formal training like the better artists...look at your resume, for pete's sake...what do you have to show for all this time and effort?...you're afraid, aren't you?...hey, you've got laundry to do and dinner to prepare."

Sound familiar?

Then the angel on the other shoulder tried encouraging me, but she sounded pretty pathetic in comparison.

Angel:  "Don't listen to him.  You are a good artist and an excellent teacher...It's okay to teach and enjoy painting for yourself.  Remember, you started out just to put art on your bare walls.

Devil:  Yeah, but now you've run out of walls and where are you?

Angel:  But look where you've come from with that tiny start! 

Devil:  But look what you could've done during all this time. 

Angel:  And you were never encouraged to pursue art as a career, either.

Devil:  Yeah, yeah, you're gonna blame someone else now for your failures. aren't you?

Then, as happens from time to time, I was "led" to Kevin McPherson's definition of artistic success in his wonderful book, Landscape Painting Inside & Out (must have been a bigger angel that came along!).  Kevin says "To succeed in art, you must first determine what success and art truly mean to you."  That definitely got my attention.  "If your goal is to reach financial success as an artist or to win awards, what will drive you to continue with art once those goals are reached?"  Yeah, Kevin, you're right on.  That's exactly how I've felt all along!  He goes on to say "If you have an insatiable appetite to create, you will not stop, and the rewards will come."

Thinking further about this, I can say that I've truly never seen myself as having a career as an artist.  I have a degree as an educator.  I enjoy teaching.  I've been and still am successful as a teacher.  I am a communicator.  But I'm also hooked on creativity, creating an image on canvas, paper, or through the lens of a camera.  It does not matter whether it's something I've seen and wish to interpret or a fantasy from my imagination.  When I experience something that takes my breath away or evokes a strong emotion I want to hold on to that experience.  I want to share it with someone else, to communicate.  To me, that is joyous!  I believe that's what souls do on a higher, spiritual level.  I am elevated to a higher place in the process and, hopefully, so is the viewer of my painting.  When I can share this experience even further by teaching a student to communicate his or her own experiences, well, that's just icing on the cake.

So as an artist and teacher of art I can connect on multiple levels and my joy expands.  And that, for me, is success:  to live a joy-filled life doing what I love to do with the ability to share it with others.  Do I want to sell my art?  Of course!  Do I feel "validated" as an artist when someone buys a piece?  Absolutely!  But that, in and of itself, does not make me a successful artist. 

With that thought in mind I flicked the little devilish annoyance from my shoulder and headed to my studio.